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So you want to get married?
Congratulations on your engagement! You have begun as amazing journey of planning and making a commitment to Marriage, not just a wedding. We at Southland Community Church believe in Marriage. We also love weddings!
We invite you to read this information to answer any questions you may have and to help you make arrangements for your wedding. You are welcome to contact Pastor Tim Ryan who coordinates all weddings at Southland. He will then work with you in finding one of the Southland Pastors to officiate at that very special day.
A Few Considerations
WHO: there are several Pastors at Southland who have experience at serving couples at weddings.
WHAT: we as Pastors see our service as more than just standing at the altar with the couple. Due to our collective experience in weddings, we are more than happy to help you with creative ideas to plan a beautiful and memorable wedding. We will do our best to help you with the rehearsal, the wedding and with ideas for the reception.
WHERE: Southland facilities are very spacious and attractive to handle most weddings from small to large. Be sure to check with the Church office on rental fees, details and availability. Southland Pastors are available to officiate almost anywhere as we have officiated at other Churches, parks, community centres, and even beaches. Of course the Pastors reserve to right to decline officiating if they are uncomfortable with the venue.
WHEN: Due to our full weekend ministries and services, Southland facilities are not available for weddings on Saturdays, although the Pastors are. We really encourage you to consider a Friday Night wedding (think outside the box) or a Sunday afternoon or evening wedding.
How to Arrange for a Southland Pastor to Officiate
Simply make a phone call to the Church office and you will be connected to the Hope & Support Office. They will discuss your plans with you and then connect you with an available Pastor. You may give your preferences but of course it will depend on their availability, but we will do everything we can to get you an officiating Pastor.
Couples that desire to be married by a pastor from SCC must attend our Pre-Marriage Seminar complete the Couple Questionnaire and meet for counseling with the officiating pastor.
Fee for Pre-Marriage Seminar and Officiating Pastor
We have established $150 as a fair amount to cover the expenses incurred in providing the seminar, completeing the Couple Questionnaire and counseling and other services related to the preparation for and carrying out of a wedding. This will be collected during the Pre-marriage Seminar, no later than the final session. No honorarium is expected by the officiating Pastor as he will receive a portion of the above amount for officiating.
If you are not getting married by a Pastor from Southland you are still more than welcome to take the pre-marriage seminar. The fee then would be $75 per couple. If you would like to like to take the questionnaire as well, and we would encourage you to do so, the cost would be $100.
What is the Couple Questionnaire?
If you are not getting married by a Pastor from Southland you are still more than welcome to take the pre-marriage seminar. The fee then would be $75 per couple. If you The couple questionnaire is done on-line and was developed by Enrich Canada. The questionnaire will assess the strengths in your relationship and areas that need some work. It looks at things like: communication, personality issues, relationship dynamics, spiritual beliefs, conflict resolution, financial management, sexuality and affection plus children and parenting. A report will be provided to your pastor. This will need to be completed before your first meeting with your pastor so that you can review the results and develop a strategy to build on your strengths and overcome your challenges.
This couple questionnaire is not a test. There are no right or wrong answers. The responses are compared with not only each other’s, but also to exhaustive counseling research. The resulting comprehensive report is an inventory of your couple strengths or building blocks and challenges or stumbling stones. Together with your pastor, the results will be reviewed. A summary report is given to the couple. It is completely confidential.
There is a cost to take this questionnaire however we have already built that into the $150 fee. The reason we are requiring couples to take this questionnaire is that it will give your pastor a better idea of your relationship and if there are areas that you need to discuss further. This questionnaire will celebrate your relationship strengths, identify issues you disagree on and need to resolve and encourage you and your partner to talk about your relationship.
ould like to like to take the questionnaire as well, and we would encourage you to do so, the cost would be $100.
Pre-Marriage Seminar
Offered three times per year, we have an amazing and practical 6-week seminar that is designed to prepare you for your married life, even making your engagement healthier. Developed and facilitated by Jason & Bonnie Koop, one Southland’s couples, this seminar explores many areas that will challenge you and your fiancé to talk, discuss and get to know each other better.
Some couples feel nervous about the group aspect: “will I have to share all my stuff?” The answer is, no. However this is a great way for couples to get to know other couples, even developing new friendships. You will be given opportunities to meet with your Pastor for discussion on the more personal issues that come up in the seminar, as well as to plan your wedding.
This seminar includes topics like: communication techniques, how to fight fairly; dealing with your in-laws; sex; finances and many more topics designed to start your marriage off right.
Next Seminar:
- Tuesday Evenings Apr 6 - May 18 (excluding Apr 27)
SCC Statements on Marriage
1. Marriage is not a human creation, or invention, but a God-given, God-initiated, and God-ordained institution (Genesis 2:18 & 2:24).
2. God intended marriage to be a monogamous, life-long union (Genesis 2:24, Exodus 20:14) between one man and one woman, to the exclusion of all others (Genesis 2:18, 20-25; Mark 10:7-9). Furthermore, God also intended that those who marry not be close blood relatives (Leviticus 18:6-18).
3. Marriage is constituted in mutual covenant and is a solemn, binding agreement entered into before God and others (Malachi 2:14). God views the breaking of this covenant very seriously (II Samuel 12; Malachi 2:16).
4. Marriage is about love and companionship (Genesis 2:18).
5. Marriage is also about more than love and companionship (Malachi 2:15). All human beings are born of a mother and begotten by a father. This is a universal biological reality and the common experience of all people - all human beings require someone of the opposite sex to create life. Marriage is a unique relationship, then, whose chief function is to promote the biological unity of sexual opposites as the basis for family formation. It is the God-ordained institution (see above) charged with providing the stability, love, and nurture necessary for raising children and propagating the human race. As such, marriage is a child-centered, rather than adult-centered, institution.
Conditions for Marriage When neither the Man nor Woman Has Been Previously Married
SCC pastors embrace the biblical definition of marriage based on the Word of God that clearly states that the union of marriage is between one male and one female (Genesis 2: 24). Therefore, SCC pastors are not permitted to officiate at a marriage that contradicts this definition.
If a couple has not accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior, a pastor from SCC will discuss with them the importance of a relationship with Jesus Christ and the importance of establishing a Christian home.
If one person from a couple states that they are a follower of Jesus Christ and the other person is not, then an officiating pastor from SCC will discuss the seriousness of being ‘unequally yoked’, a principle of Scripture declared in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18. Upon evidence of spiritual disparity, pastors at SCC may decide to not officiate at this wedding.
Conditions for Marriage When Either or Both Parties Have Been Divorced
Divorced couples may be considered for remarriage at Southland. Each case of divorce and remarriage will be dealt with on an individual basis keeping in mind a proper balance between God's inexhaustible grace to heal and forgive, and his desire for holiness and uprightness. Individuals who were previously married will be required to complete the “Remarriage Preparation Inventory.”
If you have further questions about your upcoming Wedding please feel free to contact Pastor Tim Ryan or Bonnie Koop at 326-9020 or email.
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